by Ilia Nicoll

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released August 12, 2014

Ilia Nicoll - Guitar/Vocals
Jake Nicoll - Drums
Darren Brown - Bass
Noah Bender - Guitar

All songs composed by Ilia Nicoll
Co-produced by Ilia Nicoll and Jake Nicoll
Recorded and mixed by Jake Nicoll
Mastered by Harris Newman
Album art by Pepa Chan
Insert by Noah Bender
Funded by NLAC


tags: pop St. John'S


all rights reserved


Ilia Nicoll St. John'S, Newfoundland and Labrador

Ilia Nicoll lives in downtown St. John's, NL. She likes knitting dolls, studying linguistics, and making music with her friends.

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Track Name: Coming Home
Someone said you’re coming home
You had left the bed unmade
A heart or two ago
Someone said I’d wait around, but
Say though someone might it’s not the Same bed we have found
Same bed that we knew
And so we sleep another point of view

All the futures look the same
Lots of cups and telephones
So many aeroplanes
But the one where I’m with you
Looks enough like now that I’d be
Glad to see it through
Glad to share my hands
Until we stumble into better plans

Every time you wait for me
I am so confused
Have you really come to see
That you are happier with me
Happier with me

I have always been afraid
That when you love someone
You through your life away
Yet my quest to be alone
Has brought me even closer to the
Man that you become
Man you’ve always been
I think I’m ready to be seen
Track Name: Something Familiar
There was something so familiar in the Way she raised her hood
She waded through each syllable in
Ways I understood
She offered up her fingers for the
Handshake or the fist
But bit the nails and beauty marks that Lovers always missed

It’s funny how the gentle-hearted
Get real tough
The curtsy for the critics must be
Mean enough
That no one can dispute what they hear
The master is the mute, always
Mocking from the mirror

‘Little woman, little woman,’ crooned the Crone inside her head
She cut a breast from off her chest, made Arrows sing instead
But there was something missing
When she soldered on her shell
‘Oh soul!’ she cried, ‘Okay, I lied, but Body – never tell!’

It’s funny how we lose the movement
In our hips
When focusing amusement on our Layered lips
Like orifices only betray
The girls we choose to give, not
The girls we hide away

One, two, three – flash!
Caught me with the night trash
And gambling with the sense we’re Making
So long as no mistaking for the
Girls in the magazine
We forget what we have shown
We forget what we have seen

I swear I saw that girl before
She’s everywhere I go
Maybe if I asked her she’d
Admit what all she knows
Cuz nobody’s an island and we’re
Not alone
The arbitrary symbols that we
Share have shown
That though we can’t compare, we agree
There’s no woman quite like you
There’s no woman quite like me
Track Name: Consumption
We were walking hallways in another world, just you and me, and we
Held on to the walls and echoes
Shivered through our feet
We were lost under umbrellas from a Time when rain came down
And I was happy just to hold up a
Candle to the cold, we were

Lost inside the bloodless veins of a
Corporate corpse
Still we held on to the lifesavers, the
Labels of our clothes
I could hear all of the apple cores
Inside me cry for murder
Cry for more, and if you
Are what you eat
Then this consumptive love can feed

We at last came to a door held by
Who were happy to ignore the missing Limbs of our love
And the pace maker between us
Pushed us through to a room where it Finally died
Left us wide eyed

We had humbly stumbled
On an auditorium, mmm, and we
Held on to the stairs that slowly
Slinkied us to centre stage
The lights between the aisles spied a field Of rows un-hoed
We spoke to show that there was
Reason for the need, eating
Egg and eating seed, we were

Lost between the shadows of the corn That grew for harvest long ago
When suddenly the walls were falling
And an ocean came to meet us

When we saw the water coming
Anxious feet we
Buried in the ground
And all the seeds that took the time
To root
Were all still standing, we were

Holding our umbrellas trying to get back
To the bloodless veins
But it was time we washed away
You said
‘Lover, look away’, you said
‘Lover, look away’, you said
‘Lover, look away...’
Track Name: Gravel and Blood
Well I pull to the shoulder in the
Glare of the sun
Looking at the animal that
Shouldn’t have run
Nothing to be done, ooh
Strangest arrangement of
Gravel and blood
Eyes still watching from the
Face in the mud
Dazed from the thud, ooh

Try to imagine other ways to have met
Our civilizing nature turning
Wild into pet
So long as they’re fed, ooh
Graveyard and ashtray where we
Butt out and bleed
Hunter turned to hunted from
Mechanical greed
More room for me, ooh

Time is rolling by and it is still alive
Still it tries to walk away
Should I stay and end its misery?

Well I reach for the shovel in the
Back of the truck
Mustering the courage for good aim and Good luck

Dead, dragging it to the woods
Nothing heroic in doing the
Thing that I should
No, nothing heroic
No one should know it occurred
There is a sound, there was another one
Finished the crossing it waits for the Other to come
No, never to follow
Never to follow again

Only the shovel will remember the day
Scoop neck dented from a life took away
Little deaths don’t stay
But somewhere another saw a
Truckload of fear
Break a beauty where the
Highway veered
Until it disappeared, ooh

‘Red! All of the red inside
Thrown on the bushes where
I was trying to hide
No mother tomorrow
Another red number to know
Coated in red for a lesson
Never to wander where guessing is
All that I ken
I won’t trust again
I won’t trust again
I won’t trust again...’
Track Name: A Room Alone
Letters lost in the ocean
Losing disguises for watery eyes
Losing faces for names
When the seasons change

City breathing is easy
People who pound out their
Hearts on the ground
People strung out and strange
When the seasons change

I adored the uncertainty of the
Company of you
On a chance in the next corner glance
You’ll be there at the streetlight too
Just so you know, I was aching to go
Now I’m aching to move
I’m aching to move
A room alone
Where the people all behind
Cannot find me
Letters asking, ‘Where have you gone?’
Every night, in umbrella light
I think of those eyes, eyes
Skies where the echo will drown

Unexpected embrace
We packed up our bags and we
Travelled the space
Landed here without knowing
We own every day

Still adjusting my eyes
Needing new places to hide in, to find in
Needing new games to play
We own every day

One more time I will wander through
All the times you drove me mad
Weighted by the irrelevance
Of the elegance we had
In case you can’t see, I’ve got
Some place to be and it’s
Only for me, it’s
Only for me

A room alone
Where the people all behind
Cannot find me
Letters asking, ‘Where have you gone?’
Every night, in umbrella light
I think of those eyes, eyes
Skies where the echo will drown
Track Name: Ghost of Lorna
Smoky jewel, she was innocent and cruel
Hiding in a glance
While her skin above the bones would Dance, late nights
Getting tired from the fights
Victim victory was the misery that
Made her right

If he’d stalled, he’d have had the room
To fall, but he couldn’t wait
Trigger finger fathers don’t last long
She wept, through her blood
The liquor swept
Must forget about him
All the promises to sons unkept

Dad tells me that I am free
To start my own beginning
Things will start and fall apart
But trying hard is winning
Now I find the quiet side
Comes out when bars are empty
Time has shown I’m not alone
The ghost of Lorna drinks with me

‘Ohhh, I gave you my bones
You wear them well, though the
Tears and stains do tell
Your sorry fate –
I’ll be waiting at the gates.’

Ruby sets on her knuckled cigarettes
When my liver hurts
She is smiling cuz she felt it first
Disgrace on the puppet of her face
Is a mirror of my own until we blow the place

I never thought I’d meet you hear
It took me years to find you!

‘Oh, little girl, that’s not true
You know I used to
Sit on your bed and
Break your dreams to watch you
Ride your nightmare through you
Shake your shoulders saying
Don’t forget me
Don’t forget me
Don’t forget me
Don’t forget me’

How could I forget the apple of my eye,
Whiskey whispers through the night?
We tangled up until we tied

Dad tells me that I am free
To start my own beginning
Things will start and fall apart
But trying hard is winning
Now I find the quiet side
Comes out when bars are empty
Time has shown I’m not alone
The ghost of Lorna drinks with me
Track Name: Secret Garden
Were so high only robins could fly them
And the doors were closed to
The path from which the walkers crossed
Holding their umbrellas to the rain

There was no roof to weather
So a family of trees grew together
And small lonely girls can
See the leaves unfurling
On the branches reaching to the sky

Calling from the gloomy place
Echoes of an answer are left on her face
Only when she’s on her knees
Do her muddy fingers uncover the keys

Her first attempts were wary
When she pulled back the curtain of ivy
Only the hair around her shoulders
To hold her
Trembling from the wilderness inside

And someone said, ‘Ooh
Where have you been all this time?’

And she said, ‘Ooh
I finally found it again.’
Track Name: Ribbons and Gold
Once upon a morning after
Once upon a night
You and I will always be together
And though it has no meaning I’ll get
All dressed up in white
And pretend to be a virgin
For my mother

We’ll move out to the country or we’ll Buy a house in town
Just promise we will always be together
And we will never say if we would
Like to screw around
And we’ll eat each other’s hearts
In stormy weather

I know, I smell the thistle not the rose
But the flower always dries up in the end
Don’t mind me, I’m just a baby divorcee
You can keep anything you want
As long as it’s not me

Maybe when I’m older I’ll get
All dressed up in snow
Tell our friends we’ll try to stick together
But what’s the use of promising what
We could never know
I could offer you a
Present moment better

Don’t think a party or a drink
Gets me off as much as
What you’ve got to hide
You know you got me when I glow
Not just anybody gets to looks inside

Look at all
Look at all the plans you hold:
Ribbons and gold!
You can see, you can see it through
But I’m just seeing you

Think of all the things that you enjoy
But never own
Think of all the changes in the weather
If you feel the need to prove
The love that you have grown
You can chuckle in your coffin
When it’s over
Track Name: Sylvia
From the tower wall
Rang out her clenched-fist caterwaul
The great dividing came with caul
A charm ‘gainst drowning
Came a foundling
Bastard other
Came the brother
Charnel-house revealed its deep decay

Of night and day
With wires bent and donkey bray
To make the chattel children go away
Blood blister
Where he’d kissed her
Poison pollen
Where she’d fallen
In dark woods where led astray

When Mars goes mad
It’s better just to wait it out
Her father gave her nine months to die
Then dragged them out
Down the river flowed
And down it washed its mortal load
She prayed to Mars to let them float
But he’d gone warring
Her strength failing
Left them sailing
Towards a shore where wolves were born

The boatman calls you home
Was the lesson yours to learn alone?
Track Name: Blue
She’s blue
It’s on her fingers too
She brushes sleeves away
To knead the brainy clay
Soft glue
Down to a single hue
She will play

This is new
Hard times have hit her too
But not today
What she creates will stay
Down through
The gloom a forest grew
Left her lying where the
Shadows moved away

She wears a faded cotton smock
Her father went to work in
And from her stem and from her stalk Her honey grows a grin

Dreams from the avenue
Come rolling in the night into the room
Dawn grey and blixen shout
An envelope of sleep buoys the air
She won’t remember she was there

Wakes deep
A simple coffee steep
Salutes the morn
Where the stars were shorn
She’s blue
It’s on her fingers too
And there’s a canvas in the corner
With a quart of something
Track Name: Oceans Ago
What a season of snow
Knee deep the summer that I left
Two years ago
There’s still a sadness in the gloom
Leftover murmurs are
Escaping from my room
How many feelings do I need?
How many fingers will be bleeding from Not writing you?

When you go
I wish to carry you
Safely through snow storms
When you fall
There’s something you can use
Bind the bruise: know home
For though it’s been a while, you still
Know I’m thinking of you and
Everywhere you smile, I can see through
Oceans ago

When will I see you again
May over absence and the distance
We be friends
And the years all be kind
It is my wish that all you look for
You will find
Be what you be, it’s all you need
Find your own reasons that define your Kind of harmony

When you go
I wish to carry you
Safely through snow storms
When you fall
There’s something you can use
Bind the bruise: know home
For though it’s been a while, you still
Know I’m thinking of you and
Everywhere you smile, I can see through
Oceans ago
Track Name: Lovely Sister
Lovely sister, paint your
World of wonder
Starlit, scarlet rolls of
Aching thunder

There is a world that’s hidden
In your eyes
Apple skies
Soothing sighs
Secrets dawning
You’re like an ancient well
Cast a spell
I can tell
That it’s Amy

So we’re leaving, we’ll be
Breathing far away
Paint the pain and love
Surrounding you each day

And when you’re lonely you just
Think of me
And I’ll be
Waiting for you
The lines upon your hand
Trace a land
Know it, be true

It’s no chance that we’ve been
Bonded at the heart
Over distance you’ll be
With me every part

Don’t be afraid of falling
Dare to blush
Lift your brush
Heave and hush
Tender colours
Reveal your ageless sun
Shock and stun
Lovely sister